


we've come again (from a place we've never known)

by hurryup, nea_writes



Series: divine but not devout [3]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Attempt at Humor, Domestic Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 14:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11602206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurryup/pseuds/hurryup, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nea_writes/pseuds/nea_writes
Summary: "Uh-uh," Allen said, walking over to block Kanda's view of the television, wagging a finger. "You forget. I—" He pointed to himself, heedless of Kanda's growing scowl, "don't care that you're an angel, or— or— a demon," he added, lazily gesturing towards Link, who seemed affronted by Allen's indolence. "If you kill me, well, yeah that'd like, suck. But it's literally not the end of the world, here. So let's lay down some rules."





	we've come again (from a place we've never known)

**Author's Note:**

> Quick one-shot just to have fun with their relationship. This is as rom-com-y as it gets and I'm satisfied. 
> 
> Inspired by Goblin.

"You two," Allen said suddenly and with no warning, "are going to have to earn your keep."

Cocking a brow from his very comfortable position on the couch, Kanda flicked through another channel. "You have some nerve, demanding anything from _us."_

"Uh-uh," Allen said, walking over to block Kanda's view of the television, wagging a finger. "You forget. I—" He pointed to himself, heedless of Kanda's growing scowl, "don't care that you're an angel, or— or— a demon," he added, lazily gesturing towards Link, who seemed affronted by Allen's indolence. "If you kill me, well, yeah that'd like, suck. But it's literally not the end of the world, here. So let's lay down some rules."

"Alright," Link said amicably, resting his elbows on his knees, hands coming together. "What would you like to discuss."

 _"A lot,"_ Allen prefaced, "but fore-mostly, you two? Are going to have to pay rent."

Whatever they were expecting, that certainly wasn't it.

"Excuse me?" Link said. Kanda sat straighter, eyeing Allen in disbelief.

Preening, Allen nodded. "Yeah. Rent. Ugly word isn't it? I hate it. Debts too. And budgeting. And the word ledger. But guess what? I have to do all of that when I'm suddenly housing two extra people who don't put a single dime in but love to run my cable bill up by subscribing to _Constellations_ just to watch the movie they missed in theaters!"

"Hey!" Kanda snapped. "It was a good fucking movie."

"No good movie is worth a $4.75 surplus charge on my bill," Allen said.

"I don't see you complaining when we order take-out," Kanda sneered, and Allen fixed him with a look.

"I _always_ have room for food," he said, paused, then added, "though there hasn't been a dent in my food allowance, so you two aren't eating enough to really worry about."

"Anyways," he continued, waving the tangent aside, "I appreciate the, uh, mood-lifting," he alluded, gesturing to Kanda, "and your multiple efforts not to kill me," he added, pointing to Link in turn, "but that's not enough in this day and age. Either foot my food bill or cough up monthly payments."

"How much is your food bill?" Link asked tentatively, still relatively peeved at how easily Allen tossed about Link's potential capabilities in murdering him accidentally.

Allen laughed. And laughed.

It was nice of them to wait his laughter out, really.

"So," Allen said, wiping away a tear. "Do you two, like, get paid for this work? Or is it all for the goodness... er... badness... of your souls?" Link scowled.

Rolling his eyes, Kanda settled back into the cushions, looking generally disinterested. "We don't get paid, but offerings sometimes come our way. Can't make money though."

"Really?" Link asked, frowning and glancing at Kanda. "We most certainly can."

"Let me rephrase," Kanda bit out, "it's _immoral_ to make money."

"Ah."

"Right then," Allen said, holding back a smile. "Since Link can make his—"

"No," Link interjected, holding his hand out. "I won't be making any."

They paused, waiting for him to explain. Link stared blankly back.

"You can make money without repercussions," Allen said slowly, "but you won't, becaaause?"

"I'd rather not," Link muttered stiffly.

"God," Allen breathed, glancing to Kanda. "I. I need a moment."

"You're so fucking dramatic," Kanda huffed, resting his elbow on the arm of the couch to prop his head up.

Allen pressed his lips together, briefly contemplating what life would be like if he had money dripping from his palms, the touch of Midas incarnate, but forcefully sighed and shoved the thought away. It'd been a nice dream.

"Do... do you have any means to pay then?" Allen asked. "Gold? Please tell me you have a stash of gold somewhere, I would _absolutely_ accept gold as payment."

"Your soul is filthy," Kanda sneered. "Filthy and _material."_

"Did you," Allen said, staring in disbelief, "did you just call me _cheap?"_

"Yeah," Kanda smirked, "cheap is a good word for it. No wonder hell wants you."

"Kanda!" Link said, aghast. "That is most certainly not why hell wants his soul, and you know it. The only reason we're both here is because his soul isn't bound for either destination."

"Uhm," Allen held his hand out,  cutting off whatever Kanda was going to say. "Let's not talk ultimatums here. I'm quite happy to be living cheaply."

"You _would_ be," Kanda grumbled.

 _"God,_ Kanda I swear to your _fucking dad—"_

_"He's not my dad you ignorant piece of s—"_

"Right," Link said, shooting them both disappointed looks. "Rent. We can pay it, I'm sure."

Allen paused, squinting. "You say that so confidently. Could you pay _all_ of my rent?"

Link smiled a little, amused. "Easily, I'd think. But I won't, no."

"...how about 45%?"

"No, so stop your pathetic begging," Kanda snapped. "We'll pay our way. What else?"

Sighing and crossing his arms, Allen said, "You two are going shopping with me.

 

 

 

"This," Allen gestured grandly, spreading his arms wide in the parking lot, "is a _supermarket."_

"I swear on my fucking life," Kanda growled. "We're not living under a damn rock, you ass. We know what a supermarket is."

"The joke's going a bit far," Link conceded, face pinched.

"It's still funny," Allen grinned. "Alright, time to stock up on supplies."

Inside, Allen pulled a cart out as Kanda and Link followed, heading down the aisle and veering away from the vegetable section.

"Ah, ah, ah, " Link tutted, hooking his gloved finger on the back of Allen's collar to pull him back. "I've seen the inside of that refrigerator and know for a fact you're sorely lacking in greens."

Pouting, Allen adjusted the cart. "Why buy them if I can't cook them?"

"Well, you're in luck," Link said, corner of his mouth lifting in a smile, "that you have two very capable cooks under your roof."

"No way," Allen breathed. "Kanda can cook? He looks like he hasn't lifted a spatula a day in his life. Does he wear aprons?"

"You little shit," Kanda hissed, weighing cabbages. "I can still fucking hear you."

"Please," Link said, looking strained. "Mind your language. We're in public."

Rolling his eyes, Kanda sighed heavily, setting one down and tossing the other to Allen, who easily caught it. Moving on, Kanda made his way down the various leafy greens, piling them in until Allen began to protest that there'd be no room for snacks.

"That's the point," Link said, equally regarding Allen a bit fondly and a bit exasperatedly.

"If we don't leave this store with a bag of chips I'm calling the police," Allen said.

"For what?" Kanda snorted. "To arrest us? Oh no, feeble humans coming to cuff me, I can't do anything against you."

"Look, see," Allen said, taking a stalk of celery to point in Kanda's direction, "these jokes work just fine on other humans like me. It's not my fault you two are... something else."

"That's distasteful," Link muttered. "We're not _aliens."_

Laughing softly, Allen steered the cart away and towards the meat, brightening considerably. "I have been looking forward to this since we stepped in."

"Wipe your mouth," Kanda sneered. "These aren't even cooked yet."

"Some can be eaten raw," Allen pointed out, gravitating towards the stocked piles of meat to linger over.

"Barbaric," Link sniped, staying near the cart as Kanda and Allen perused. "All this red meat does is kill you faster."

Kanda and Allen both pinned Link with a dull look, and Link blinked slowly. "Right."

The rest of the trip passed in a similar vein, though Allen quite literally had to wrestle a bag of cookies into the cart, citing medical needs.

At the check-out, Link paid, holding back from a sigh as Allen sang his praises to Kanda.

 

 

 

At home, it took considerably longer than usual to store groceries.

"This is unacceptable," Link said, gesturing energetically between all the open cabinets and refrigerator doors. "Nothing is organized, everything is mixed together, how do you even know where everything is?"

"I'm not picky," Allen said, cross-legged in a straight backed chair at the edge of the kitchen, happily munching on chips. "I just open whatever and eat whatever."

"Tasteless," Kanda muttered, kneeling under the sink to fetch a molding bag of crackers. Oops. "I could probably look in the bathroom sink and find the same damn thing."

"Uh," Allen said eloquently, then ate another chip.

Slowly and methodically, Link and Kanda put away groceries, Link lingering over the best arangement for the fruit basket as Kanda steeped tea. Allen, finished with the chips, crackers, a bowl of fruit Link had demanded he eat, slowly nibbled on cookies, watching them.

"Yeah," he said, garnering a look from both of them. "That's the second thing I wanted to talk about. This? This is okay."

Snorting, Kanda poured the tea and Link took a seat beside Allen at the table.

**Author's Note:**

> nea_chi | twitter  
> nea-writes | tumblr


End file.
